Two weeks ago yesterday I was lying in the hospital bed looking down at my beautiful (I may be bias) little boy lying in my arms. I can't really explain the overwhelming emotions that I felt when I was alone with him for the first time. I cried and cried while I was holding the sleeping little person that was all mine. I think any mom out there will understand and know exactly what I am talking about.
For me Owen's birth marked the end of the hardest journey I had taken in my life. As many of you know I was quite sick at the beginning of my pregnancy. I spent many nights up throughout the night sick... it sucked A LOT. Thankfully Cookie was an awesome companion during those early months. He would get up with me and hangout in the bathroom or lounge on the couch with me. Finally by month 4 the sickness was gone. The middle few months of my pregnancy were physically the easiest... I was feeling ok and not getting too big. The last couple months were tough because I was getting bigger and more uncomfortable. More than anything I had troubles sleeping because I had to pee pretty much all the time. I also developed carpel tunnel syndrome in my hands in the last six weeks... which is still bothering me postnatal.
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| 39 Weeks |
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| 39 Weeks |
At Christmas time Dan bought me a pregnancy magazine. In the magazine I came across an article about prenatal depression. This is something that is rarely talked about... in fact I had never heard about it until I read this article. After reading it I realized that the feelings and emotions that I had during my pregnancy were not uncommon and there was actually a reason for why I was feeling the way I did. I thought I was just "crazy" during my pregnancy. I did some online research and realized that I was not alone... too bad I hadn't realized this months earlier as I would have talked to my doctor and he probably could have helped me out. I went through periods where I felt like no one liked me, I felt like I couldn't do anything right at work, I would cry lots, and of course I felt like I was getting huge (I actually didn't) and I felt so unattractive. I just wanted my pregnancy to be over and the "insanity" to stop. It was tough... There is so much focus put on postnatal depression and none put on prenatal depression. Thankfully I have great friends, family, and co-workers that helped me through this time without even realizing that they did.
Delivery truly marked the end of the journey... and holy crap was that ever hard! Many of you know that Owen had a little bit of a rough entry into the world. He had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. This was discovered after 2 hours of pushing and not being able to get him out. Poor little guy had to have an assisted birth with the vacuum. We are both nearly healed from the birth. The back of his little melon is still a little swollen, but he's on the mend. Thankfully the doctor assured me that there will be no longterm effects from his birth. He's a happy, healthy little guy. Dan was amazing during the birth... I had no idea that the dad is expected to do so much during the labour and delivery. My "not a spectator sport, waist up" rule was quickly thrown out the window as for much of the time it was just Dan and one nurse in the delivery room. Dan had the job of holding one of my legs as I pushed! Even when the neonatal intensive care team came in to help the delivery, Dan was awesome. I just wanted the baby out at that point but I assume that it was very scary for Dan to watch everything as the team worked to help deliver Owen.
So... how have things been in the two weeks since delivery? He's a great baby... he sleeps well, he rarely fusses unless something is wrong, and I'm doing great. Thankfully I haven't had any baby blues or postnatal depression. I will admit that there have been a couple meltdowns when both of us are bawling and it's hard to tell which one of us is more upset. On those occasions I've had a lack of sleep, and he won't stop crying, and I don't know what to do to fix it! We're still both trying to figure things out...
Cookie has been an awesome "big brother" to Owen. When I first came home he was CRAZY!!! I think it was partly because I was gone for three days. He was so excited to see me. Once he figured out that I had a little person with me he was fascinated with him. He kept trying to climb into the carseat with Owen! Thankfully that faze was very short lived and he is great with Owen. He is back to his calm self... lounging on the couch for hours on end while I nurse or watch TV. He gets quite upset when Owen cries and will run over to him and check on him. It's really cute! I'm looking forward to when Owen can be more interactive with him. I think Cookie will quickly become his BFF. 
We've been so blessed with all the help we have had. We have tons of family and friends around that have been available when I need a break from holding the little guy. The support has been amazing when I have questions about how to take care of him... from the services that Lethbridge offers to the advice that Owen's grandparents have been able to offer. We have also received SO MANY gifts from everyone. Thank you to everyone that has bought stuff for Owen... he is so spoiled and he already has everything that he can need at this point.
If you haven't been able to visit us and would like to send me a private message on Facebook or a text message. My two besties are planning my shower for Sunday February 24th. They have started a private group on Facebook... I'm suppose to go on and invite people, so watch for the invite there or in your email. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone that I haven't been able to see...
